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Sept 1, 2008
I have been in Brazil for 5 years. I renewed my Minnesota Drivers
license by mail one time. However, Minnesota requires me to
show up in person to renew again.
My Minnesota drivers license expires in October. I thought it was
time to get my Brazil driver's license.
First Step:
You need a photocopy
of your driver's license officially translated into Portuguese.
My wife prepared me for multiple trips to department of motor
vehicles (DMV) in order to go through all the steps. For those that
know me I do not have much patience. Brazil loves its governmental
beauracracy. The first two trips I sent my wife to do the
preliminary steps with regards to my application. Maria paid circa
300 Reais in fees to get my application in the system. We waited for
1 week and then went back as we were instructed. Keep in mind many
of the original documents that were requested on visit one were not
needed on visit two. They asked for verification of my address in
Minnesota. Upon our second visit my Minnesota address was no longer
needed. They now wanted a copy of a billing address for my residence
in Brazil. We had this in hand and were ready for them. Upon
review of this electricity bill, they then asked for a bill with my
wife's name on it. We looked at one another with disbelief. Maria
then recognized a person working in DMV that was a former customer
of hers when she worked at a clothing store. This person reviewed my
file and said everything is on order. You are ready for processing,
you just need to pay one more fee.
Keep in mind were are on trip three to the DMV now. We walk over to
local bank and pay the third set of fees. We walk back over to one
of the countless processing areas in DMV. We wait and speak to a
pleasant man and he says our payment does not show in his system. My
supervisor is not here now. Feel free to wait two hours or come back
another day. We decide to give it the weekend and be back early on
Monday.
4th trip to DMV - Monday
morning Sept 1.
"We are updating our systems today.
Please go to another office and they maybe can help you."
After playing musical offices for 1 hour we finally catch a break.
Maria was chatting with a pleasant young man. We are all waiting for
a supervisor to sign off on these files. Maria mentions that she has
been to federal university in Brazil. Many of the workers inside DMV
come from the federal university system. By coincidence Maria and
the young man had studied under the same professor. Shortly there
after my file came to the top and was reviewed again. I think we can
process this now. Please sign here.
You need to pay one more fee of 119 Reais. These fees are for my
psychological testing and eye test. These tests are done about ½
mile away from DMV. One would assume that when one arrives at these
locals that all fees would have been paid? That assumption would be
incorrect. I walk into the psych testing building and pay another 50
Reais. I am immediately shuttled into a room with others and the
teacher is instructing us in Portuguese about the three-phase test
that will take 90 minutes to complete.
Test One:
"You are required to draw
vertical lines of high quality and as many as you can in a given
period of time."
I start making my lines on my piece
of paper, drew about 1000 1/4 inch lines The room monitor is
telling us when to stop and start with the aid of his stop watch.
After each set, you count your line and record the number and handed
it in. If line quality and spacing are good; you pass.
We were given a toothpick in order to count the lines.
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Test Two:
This is a special workbook that has four diagrams on each page. In
the 4th diagram one must put the letter of answer that best
completes the problem. Its basically a figure test. In the beginning
they were simple geometric forms and they made logical sense.
However the last 5 of this 40 problem set were down right difficult.
This is an advanced college IQ test. Before I was done the room
monitor interrupts a few of us and takes our workbook.
Test Three:
He then starts us on test 3 with others in the room were still
working at their own pace. Test 3 is triangle recognition. This test
is also timed. We are to mark as many of the 3 triangle designs in
the example square. We did not know how long the test would last.
After about 3 minutes of marking triangles he says stop. He takes
our papers and then gives us our workbooks back. I finish test 2.
Psychological Test:
After 90 minutes of doing speed tests in 95 degree heat I was
exhausted. I had not yet eaten lunch. I am then told to take my
results upstairs to wait to be called by the shrink. I sat on the
couch and I waited. I felt good about my tests. I thought to myself
about some of the drivers I have hired in Mato Grosso. With some of
these guys the lights do not go all the way to the top of the
Christmas tree. I was wondering if my shrink would flunk me?
After 30 minutes I was called in for evaluation. She had my file and
knew I was American. She asked about my driving history. She asked
how long I have been here in Brazil. I said I was a pilot and she
takes note. She asks how much I drink alcohol? I said I do at the
end of the week.
Do you drive she asks? I said no, my
wife drives or I use a taxi. We have very strict laws you know? I
said yes I have read about them. She then says I will liberate you.
You were a little slow on one of the tests. I ask which one? The
triangle one she said. However you have zero errors, thus I will
approve you. I thanked her but inside I was thinking to myself,
“Given the pace of things in Brazil, and your telling me Kory is too
slow?” Honey, you got to be kidding me……..
I did not say anything. However, for those Gringos reading my story
and think your going to come to Brazil and just get a Drivers
license in one day, think twice.
I go downstairs and find Maria waiting for me; exhausted. She looked
at me and asked if I passed? I said yes. Very good, Kory the
previous 6 that came down flunked. I was in shock. While I was
testing Maria was chatting with the office help and they said no
Gringos pass the pysch test on their first attempt. After going
through 2 hours of it, I can see why. If you have not lived in
Brazil for an extended period of time to be at least be able to
understand conversational Portuguese and take instruction, you don't
have a chance.
It only gets more difficult as of September 1, one must hire and
attend 15 hours of auto school and pass a behind-the-wheel driving
test too. All of this means more money and time.
If you are thinking this is the end of the story, you are wrong. I
still had to get my eyes checked. Keep in mind I started this
process at 9 am. It is now 2 pm and Kory needs food.
We eat the remaining food that was prepared at a local restaurant.
We then proceed to the eye testing place. That was ½ mile in another
direction. I walk in and fill out more forms and pay another 50
Reais. Soon thereafter I am called in for eye test and hand strength
test. I passed that. The last thing was blood pressure. My blood
pressure has always been a little above normal. Because my pressure
was high today, the doctor said I need you to see a cardiologist.
After all I had been through I felt like I had failed. I cannot go
back to DMV today and finish what I have started 10 days and 600
Reais ago. The doctor said I can sign off on you after you have a
check up from another doctor. I thought to myself, yes it's a good
idea, but more money, more time, and this is for a fricking drivers
license. I have had annual check ups in the USA for my pilots
license and the only thing missing today is a rectal.
In the next week or two I will get checked out by another doctor and
then go back and complete my tests. Five days later the driver's
license card will be ready. Six trips and we might get this
mission accomplished.
For those wanting to live in Brazil and maybe even buy land here.
Many of these bureaucracy nightmares will come into play with any
action one takes in Brazil. I live in Goiania and I can be at the
motor vehicle dept in 10 minutes. What if I lived on the farm? Or in
a rural farm town?
If I did not have Maria finessing things today, the above would be
irrelevant.
The file would have been pushed ahead one day and then I would need
to comply with new laws and rules. One must have competent, well
educated, well behaved, patient people working for you in Brazil or,
in my opinion, you don't stand a chance.
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